Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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