There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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