i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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