i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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