I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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