Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Where is the hickey?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
