Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
