Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
