Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
