Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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