Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
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I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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