Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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