Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
