This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
