I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
