No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
