my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
