my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
