I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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