how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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