take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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