it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
