Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am spending my child support on dildos
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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