we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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