I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
