I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
