just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
MIDGETS
????
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
