its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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