Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
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We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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