we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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