I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize