Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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