i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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