Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
