apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
