did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
