I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
