New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize