People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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