Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
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Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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