he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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