Moan for me like Helen Keller
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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