shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
