I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize