im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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