He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
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Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
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You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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