The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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