Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
