yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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