You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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