YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
