Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
