Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
