the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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