Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
