They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
